Keeping a marriage

Keeping a marriage

The wedding vow goes, “to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish; from this day forward until death do us part”. Joined in holy matrimony and blessed by the well-wishes of friends and families, a couple enters a marriage, not knowing the prevailing obstacles and the tribulations that would shake the very foundations of their relationship. Somewhere along the way, love transforms into hatred, happiness becomes anger and a marriage falls apart.

Keeping a marriage going is no easy feat. Love and affection can dissipate over the years and one must constantly work at sporadic enthusiasm to keep the flame torching. An everlasting marriage takes work and a perfect marriage doesn’t just happen. It is important that you try to save your marriage before it goes up in shambles.

1) Communication

There’s a common phrase, “I can’t fix the problem until I know what the problem is”.  The saying is veracious. Until you let your feelings known, until you let the other party know what’s bothering you, he or she cannot resolve the issue. No matter is too trivial if it’s affecting your marriage. Is his snoring keeping you up at night? Does he leave the toilet seat up?  Is her spending too much time with her male colleagues irking you? Are her words emasculating you?

Iron out these issues and work at removing these blemishes. Over time, little pet peeves can become exasperating and intolerable. Avoid using hurtful words and speaking to your loved one in an accusatory tone. Instead, talk about how his/her actions have affected you.

2) Revisit memorable places

Literally take a walk down memory lane and revisit the places where it all began; the first kiss landmark, your first outdoor romp. Go on a second honeymoon! Relive these important moments of your life and rediscover what you have lost. The familiar environment will help jog your memory and make you realize why it is you fell in love with your spouse. Remember the faithful promises you made to each other right there and then.

3) Sex

If laughter is the best medicine in life, then sex is the best remedy to an estranged marriage. Most marital problems stem from a lack of intimacy and a seemingly loss of interest in each other. The physical act of fornication helps to tear down any insurmountable barrier. Sex in itself is a form of communication. If you are currently going through a dry streak, perhaps it’s time to initiate a flaming hot session.

Talk about your secret fantasies and implore your spouse to try it. As long the two of you draw a boundary, there is no fetish too perverse. Be sure to come up with a code word. Try a new sex position or try it somewhere else other than the bedroom! Play dress up; hey, you might be under-qualified, but it doesn’t mean you can’t pull off a doctor’s outfit!

You will welcome the renewed interest in your spouse and find that the fatal attraction has been restored.

4) Counseling

Has your marriage reached the verge of no return? Some professional advice from a third party could prove to be beneficial. A marriage therapist is able to present an objective stance and opinion into your marriage, something your beer buddies or ex bridesmaids can’t.  Sometimes you need a little prodding before you would get to the root of the problem. A discerning marriage counselor knows how to evaluate the differing perspectives and he can offer a solution.

Counseling also helps you to make measurable and realistic progress. Be sure to take your sessions seriously; heed your therapist’s advice and do what he asks of you. If he assigns you a task, complete it assiduously.